


Happily Ever After?

by orphan_account



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Post-Mass Effect 3, Ruthless (Mass Effect), Sole Survivor (Mass Effect)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-02-28 14:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2736197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Reaper War is over and Commander Shepard managed to survive, now the Galaxy's greatest hero can finally get some rest, right? While this story is based one of my playthroughs of the Mass Effect Games there are certain AU aspects to it including certain AU pairings including Ashley/Miranda, original characters, and certain changes from the main ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Happily Ever After?

Vancouver, Earth, Sol System, Milky Way

December, 2186

Two weeks since the end of the Reaper Invasion

* * *

 

The first thing that Adrianna Shepard saw when she woke up was a blurry blue blob sitting next to her curled up in a ball. After a few seconds her vision started to clear, she could tell that she was in a white room. For a second, she wondered if she was dead and she was in heaven. She tried to move her head to look around the room but when she did to a shooting pain shot through her entire body and she cried out in pain.

Okay, she thought, I guess that rules out this being heaven.

This made the blue blob jump up in fright. But, when she saw Adrianna was awake she kissed her and said, "Shepard it is amazing to see you awake."

Shepard recognized the voice; it was the voice of the Asari crew mate and lover, Dr. Liara T'Soni. She tried to say something to Liara, but her throat was so parched that nothing came out.

Liara realized what she was trying to do and said, "Shepard by love try not to talk you have been badly hurt, and are still recovering. Let me try to find the doctor, and get you some water."

Shepard heard Liara get up cross the room to the door, open the door and call for one of the nurses. Shepard's eyesight was improving by the second, and she could make out more of her surroundings. She tried to turn her head again to see more of her surrounding, but when she tried to move she got another sharp jolt of pain down her spinal cord which then radiated throughout her entire body.

She looked down and saw that most of her body was covered in either bandages . She tried to remember what could have happened to her that made her this wounded. But, she could not remember anything that had happened recently. The last thing that she remembered was that her team had made it to the forward base in London, which the resistance had set up. There, she had just joined with Liara and had experienced her lover's entire life, she could not remember the events that had led to her hospitalization.

As she tried to remember Liara came back into the room with a glass of water and said, "here love try to drink this, then we can talk I am sure that you have a lot of questions."

She put the straw to Shepard's lips and Shepard greedily started to suck down all the water until she needed to come up for air. It might have only been water but to Shepard it was ambrosia given how dry her throat was.

After Shepard had finished drinking the water Liara put the cup down on the small table next to the bed and asked. "Now what was it that you wanted to say, love?"

"Where am I," croaked Shepard her throat still dry.

"You are in an Alliance hospital in Vancouver. It has been about two weeks since you destroyed the Reapers. You have been in a coma for the past two weeks, because you were badly injured during the battle and the doctors were afraid to wake you up because of the amount of pain you would have been in, they just took you off the medication ten hours ago. It really is a miracle that you are even alive right now, when they first found you the doctors were not even sure if they were going to be able to save you."

That was what Shepard had forgotten, she had been hit and badly wounded by Harbinger during the final push to the Citadel but somehow managed to get abroad the Citadel where she met the Illusive Man and Admiral Anderson.

The Illusive Man had tried to stop her and Admiral Anderson from destroying the Reapers, because he believed that he could control them. He had killed Admiral Anderson, and then turned the gun on himself when Shepard convinced him that he had been indoctrinated by the Reapers. Then, she had been transported to the Catalyst which was actually the mastermind behind the Reapers; it had explained to her that there were three options.

She could either destroy the Reapers like she had originally intended to do, but it warned that it would only bring about a temporary peace. Or it told her that she could take control of the Reapers, which would mean that she would in essence become the new Catalyst and she could direct the Reapers as she saw fit. This would have stopped the war as the Reapers would have been totally under her control. Or finally. it told her that she could add her energy to the Cruible which would create a synthesis between all organic and inorganic life in the Galaxy.

She had chosen not to take a chance with the Reapers; she did not believe that the Reapers could be trusted so she decided to destroy the Reapers once and for all so they would never be a threat to the galaxy ever again. She also figured that given the lessons that they had learned in the past they could prevent the rise of another race like the Reapers. So she had pulled out her pistol and fired at the Crucible beam releasing the energy trapped within and wiping out all synthetic life in the galaxy.

When the energy was released, when the energy hit her she had experienced the most horrible pain that in her life. It felt like her body was being ripped apart on a molecular level, then she had blacked out and woken up in this bed.

Liara's voice snapped her out of her memories, "Adrianna, love, are you okay? You are crying."

As Liara wiped the tear from her eye Shepard looked at her and asked in a quiet voice, "So, then s it finally over, did we win?"

Liara smiled and said, "Yes, my love you did it, the Reapers have been destroyed, and the galaxy is safe."

Liara turned her head, and Shepard could tell that something had happened that Liara did not want to tell her while she was in the hospital. But, just as Shepherd was about to say something Liara said in a low voice, "All of us survived except EDI was badly damaged somehow when the ship was hit by the Crucible's energy. The Alliance, with the help of Miranda, and some of the old Cerberus techs are looking into it, but they are not sure if they are going to be able to fix her.

Everyone else made it out fine, and they have stopped in from time to time to check in on you. Ashley and I were in the worse shape after we got hit during the final push, but it was nothing that Dr. Chakawas couldn't fix on the Normandy on the way back to earth."

Then, as if she was guessing the question on Shepard's mind she said, "The only damage was that the mass relays were badly damaged by the influx of all of that energy. Through most of the ones between the major systems have been repaired the galaxy still has a long road ahead of it before it is where it was before the invasion."

Shepard could not believe all of the damage that the Crucible had done.

"How long have I been out for," croaked Shepard .

"You have been out for over two weeks, when they found you in the Citadel there was extensive damage to your body, both organic and inorganic. You had burns over 90% of your body. Most of your major bones had been crushed, and you had lost over have of your blood.

The only thing that saved you was the implants that Cerberus used when they brought you back. The Alliance has been working around the clock for the past two weeks to make sure that you did not die. You got very lucky Shepard."

Shepard smiled, she was right; despite the odds she had survived the Reaper invasion. Liara was alive, and there were no more missions to be completed or galaxies to save. She was a truly lucky person, now she could finally for the first time in the past four years take a break from suicide missions and simply live her life with the women that she loved.

Little did Shepard know that the galaxy still had need of a hero and her struggles were far from over yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone, I hoped that you enjoyed the prologue of my first fanfiction story.
> 
> I plan to update the story every week, and I will try to stick to releasing them every Sunday. I know what you are thinking, it is what I always think when authors say something like this, yeah right he is not going to release every week. But, I am going to try to keep to that schedule, unless I mention otherwise the week beforehand. Unfortunately I have to write a couple of more background chapters to introduce all of the plot elements; but the good news is but I already have a rough outline about what I want to accomplish with these, and the updates will be more frequent until I get into the main part of the story.


	2. Therapy

Over the next few days and weeks Shepard saw that the path to her complete recovery would be a long and painful one, which would tax her both physically and mentally. Unlike when Cerberus brought her back to life she was going to have to go through months of physical therapy; and even then there was no guarantee that she would ever return to her normal state.

She could handle that physical pain, but what was far worse than the physical pain of the recovery was the mental pain. For the first time in years she had plenty of time to think about all of the friends and colleagues that she had lost over the past four years. And because of her interviews with reporters she was forced to live it over time and time again. Between these two things she realized that despite how she tried to blame the Reapers for everything she realized that most of their deaths rested at her feet; Kaidan, Thane, Mordin, EDI, the Geth, all of the people on Earth. They were all dead because of her actions, and all of this was starting to take its toll on her.

She had never been one to second guess her decisions before this; it was something that her instructors and commanding officers had always chastised her for. Now, she was second guessing all of the decisions she had made since she had become a Spectre. But, even worse than that she was so angry all of the time, with her lack of progress, with her helplessness, and because she was doubting her decisions when there was nothing she about it now.

She did not mind being mad at herself, she had been through it when she lost her entire company during the mission to Akuze. It was what had pushed her to be a better leader, and improve her skills. But, this was just destructive anger, and what was worse was that she could not control her emotions with others; she would go from happy to angry to sad, and then back to happy in the span of one conversation.

She was lashing out at those around her who were trying to help her; she felt bad about it afterwards but the damage had usually already been done. And it was affecting all aspects of her life, in particular it was affecting her relationship with her friends, and especially Liara since she was the one closest to Shepard. And the one person who might have been able to help her get through this was dead because of her decisions.

About a month into her recovery she had a particularly difficult therapy session and was really anger that she seemed to be making no progress in her recovery. But, instead of just getting mad at herself for her lack of progress she started to yell at the poor therapist. The young alliance officer was on the verge of tears before Liara stepped in and said, "Shepard my love, you need to stop this it is not her fault."

Shepard's emerald eyes flashed with anger as her attention shifted to the Asari. "Liara, this is none of your business; why are you still here anyways. You don't need to follow me around, I can take of myself."

"I am here because I love you Shepard, and I am worried about you," said Liara, her voice cracking a little. "Please tell me what is wrong, why are you acting like this. This is not like you at all."

Adrianna Shepard slumped to the floor and started crying, "Liara it is all my fault."

Liara signaled for the Alliance Officer to leave; she did not want the news that Shepard was yelling at people to spread around the base with her evaluation coming up. They girl grabbed her back and left the room, happy to leave. When he was gone Liara walked over to Shepard, and sat down next to her.

She put her around her and said, "It is okay Shepard I am here for you. Now please tell me, what is bothering you, what is your fault?"

Shepard waved her hand gesturing toward the window and the carnage that still lay out there and said, "All of it, this destruction and death was all because I was not strong enough to protect everyone."

Then, she broke down crying again. Liara grabbed her head and pulled it into her chest and said, "Shepard that was the Reapers who did all of that not you. If it was not for you we would all either be killed or enslaved. I know how you feel but…"

Shepard pushed her away and started to yell at her. "You have no idea how I feel Liara, don't pretend like you know what is going on in my head. You Asari are all so high and mighty but you are no different from anyone else.

Liara just stood there and let Shepard insult her; because it was the only thing she could do now. She knew Shepard was hurting, and it killed her that she could do nothing to help so she just let keep going until she finally tired out.

When Shepard stopped she said, "I just want to help you love, please just let me in so I can help. I just want…" She could not get anything else out before she broke down crying.

"I am sorry Liara, I don't mean to get angry with you; I love you more than anything else in this entire galaxy, I just can't tell you yet what happened it is just too painful." Then, in a whisper so quiet that Liara almost missed it she said, "Please don't make me relive it again."

Liara wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at Shepard. For the first time since she had meet Shepard she saw the weight of the past four years; and the toll that they had taken on her. She could almost feel the pain radiating off Shepard.

Her emerald green eyes had lost their trademark fire, now they look lifeless and hollow like she was looking at a far off painful image. Her face had lost it color, she looked pale and sickly; and her cheeks were sunken. Her shoulders were slouched, they looked like she was trying to carry the weight of the universe on them and she was losing. It was in that moment Liara realized that she was not looking at a lifetime military officer, the first human Spectre, the hero of the Citadel, or the savior of galaxy; no she was looking at a scared woman who needed to know that there were people who loved her and would do anything for her.

But, Liara did not know how to tell her this; she did not know how to help her or even what was bothering her lover. So instead she just wrapped her arms back around Shepard. This time Shepard just let her, Liara could tell she was just too exhausted to do anything or protest. Liara continued to hold her until Shepard finally fell asleep in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you enjoyed the latest chapter in my on-going story of Commander Shepard. I know that the story is developing slowly but please bear with me for a couple of weeks. I want to make this as realistic as possible; Commander Shepard has been through it a lot and in my head canon the price of her victory, and the past few years is starting to show. I hate the stories that gloss over parts just because they think that it is not what their readers want to read; I believe that the reader needs to know these things in order to truly understand the story and appreciate the character.
> 
> But, like I said I should have these chapters down quick. Keep your eyes open for more chapters.


	3. Scars

After that outburst the day seemed to return to normal; Shepard went through the rest of the day like her old self. After her training Shepard took Liara out to one of the few restaurants that had rebuilt after the Reaper invasion. They had a pleasant evening but Liara could tell that something was still wrong with Shepard but she knew that she should not bring it up.

After they were done with dinner Shepard and Liara went back to their apartment. When they got home Shepard collapsed in one of the chairs by the dining room table, and tossed her cane to the side and said, "God, I feel like someone is driving a hot knife into my abdomen and thigh."

Liara sat down in one of the chairs next to her and said, "You are lucky love, most other people would have not have healed half as well as you have and at least you are making progress, love."

Shepard half laughed and said, “Yeah, now I can walk for ten minutes before I collapse in agonizing pain, great. I have never had to plan for how long I could stand up on my own."

“Shepard, you need to find the bright side of life.”

“Yeah, like what?”

Liara sighed to herself, wondering if Shepard would ever be her old self again. But, she quickly chastised herself for thinking such things knowing that Shepard had been through a great ordeal.  So, she quickly pushed the thought from her mind and said, "Here, love, let me help you out of those clothes. And then you can get into something more comfortable than those military clothes."

Shepard tried to protest saying, "Come on I might be injured but I am not so useless that I can't even undress myself."

"I know love I just want to help you."

Shepard smiled, one of the first genuine smiles that Liara had seen since Shepard had woken up in the hospital, and said, "You can play the concerned girlfriend all you want but I know you just want to see me naked. It has been over a year since the last time we joined."

This fact was not lost on Liara, however she knew better then to bring up the topic right now given Shepard's mental state; she assumed that it would happen whenever Shepard was ready to share what had happened to her on the Citadel and Liara was fine with.

"You caught me so why don't you get undressed and I will grab a pair of clothes for you."

Shepard nodded, and limped to the bathroom while Liara walked over to the dresser and pulled out some clothes for Shepard to wear. As she was doing this she heard a great crash, so she ran into the bathroom and opened the door without even knocking first.

When she opened the door she saw Shepard sprawled on the ground with her pants halfway down her legs.  They had gotten caught on some of her bandages and she had fallen splayed out on the floor.  Liara rushed over to her and helped her onto the toilet and said, "Are you okay, are you hurt?" Shepard did not say anything she just started to cry.

"Liara I am so useless." Liara had no idea where this had come from all of a sudden but she knew that she had to show Shepard that she was here for her. "You are not useless Shepard, you just need some help for the moment, it is okay to ask for help every once and a while."

This didn't comfort Shepard, "I can't even take off my clothes without the help of my girlfriend; if that is not useless I do not know what is. Then, her voice got really quiet and she said, in barely more than a whisper, "Liara, I am sorry."

It was impossible for Liara to miss the overwhelming sadness and hopelessness in her voice. At that point, even more clearly then she had earlier in the day Liara could tell how broken and fragile her lover was.

"It is okay, Shepard, I am here for you for as long as you will let me. Now, why don't I finish taking off your clothes, and I draw you a nice hot bath so you can just relax."

Shepard did not say anything to her, and when Liara looked at her eyes they were dim and lifeless; as if she was not even in the room with Liara but somewhere far off. However, there was also something else in her eyes, so glimmer of hope.

"Liara I want you to know that I love you. I know that I have been a horrible girlfriend lately and god know just about anyone else would have left me long ago."

Before she could say anything though, Liara jumped in and said "Shepard I could never just leave you."

"I know but I just want you to know that I love you." Liara could tell that Shepard was so emotionally weak, and doubtful right now that she needed Liara to say it back.

These words meant more to Liara then Shepard could have ever dreamed. Even while Shepard had so many of her own problems the fact that she still thought about her so much as a truly amazing thing. And in that moment Liara saw the glimpse of her from Commander and lover, which she had been waiting for. "I love you too Shepard, I have loved you since the first time that we met on Therum; and nothing could ever change that. I will always be here for you no matter what happens."

Shepard smiled wrapped her arm around Liara's neck and Liara helped her up and into the bath. Then, Liara turned off the water, stripped out of her clothes and got in with Shepard.

Once she got into the tub she started to unwrap the bandages from Shepard’s body; first peeling off the bandages that covered the huge gash on her midsection from where she had been impaled by debris from the collapse of the citadel.  Shepard winced but other otherwise remained stoic during what must have been a painful process for her. 

Liara slowly reached up to remove the bandage on Shepard’s head. 

“Ow,” Shepard cried out despite trying to remain quiet throughout the process, it was the same thing every time that they changed the bandages.  “I know that it hurts Adrianna, but we need to change the bandage or else you might get an infection.  

As she took off the bandage she got a good look at Shepard’s eye, there was probably always going to be some scaring around the socket.  But, at least now it was not the bloody hole that it was when she was pulled from the wreckage of the Citadel.  She handed Shepard her eye patch without saying a word. 

Once Shepard had put the eye patch on Liara reached down and picked up the soaps that we sitting next to the tub and started to wash her partner’s body.  She carefully washed the burns, cuts, scars, and holes on Shepard body, while trying to cause her the least amount of pain possible. 

After about forty-five minutes when Liara was satisfied that Shepard was clean she helped Shepard out of the bath and into the underwear and oversized t-shirt that she always wore to bed. Then, once Liara had dressed herself as well, she helped Shepard to the king sized bed in the middle of the room.

Once Shepard was securely under the blue and white covers of the bed she climbed under the covers with her and said, "Do you mind if I watch the news? I have not gotten a chance to catch up on the current events today."

"Sure, that is fine love." Liara reached over to the controls, which rested on the oak night stand and pressed the power button. The screened flashed to life, and she turned it to the Alliance News Network, the reporter was finishing a report on the reconstruction efforts on Palaven.

"Well, despite several setbacks in the early days after the war Palaven is well on its way to a full recovery. Though it will still be many years before the once proud Turian home world looks like it did before the invasion by the Reapers. Now, let's send it back to Diana Allers in the studio."

Then, the screen flashed back to their studios and there sat the young black haired women that who had been imbedded with the Normandy during the war. "Thank you, I recently had the privilege to sit down with the first human Spectre, savior of the citadel, and bane of the Reapers, Commander Adrianna Shepard. I talked to her about what her plans are for the future now that the Reapers have been defeated, and the galaxy is at peace once again."

All of a sudden she heard tears coming from Shepard's side of the bed. When she looked over she saw that Shepard was crying, again. So, Liara quickly turned off the screen and said, "What is wrong love, you gave that interview a couple of days ago and it went fine."

But, Shepard did not stop crying instead buried her face in Liara's chest and said, "Everyone needs to stop this I am no hero, I do not deserve to be put on the same level as people like Anderson."

This comment shocked Liara, Shepard had never been one to accept the praise of others for what she called doing her duty. But, never before had she been so negative about it. "What do you mean love. You destroyed the reapers and saved the galaxy. That is the action of a hero, what makes you think that you are not a hero?"

Shepard did not answer she just continued to cry, so Liara patted her head and tried to comfort her. After a good five minutes of just lying there crying Shepard finally said, "The Alliance wants to present me with the highest award that they can give to a military officer, for my efforts on behalf of humanity over these past four years. No one understands that I am the worst type of person, the one that dawns the shroud of a hero to hide her villainous acts."

Liara did not even know what to say to her, she could not wrap her head around what Shepard was saying. Shepard must have taken this as her answer because she rolled over and fell asleep before Liara could say anything. Liara turned off the lights, and just sat there in the dark trying to figure out the missing piece which would help her make sense of what had just happened. She wondered if she had been wrong all of this time and it was not her injuries Shepard were bothering Shepard.

After about an hour of just lying in bed trying to figure out what was going on with Shepard she heard moans and mumbled words coming from Shepard’s side of the bed. All she could make out was the word “no” repeated over, and over, and over, again.

'Shepard must be having another one of her nightmares,' Liara thought to herself. They had been a nightly event ever since she had woken up after the war. The Asari thought about waking her up but stopped; it dawned on her Shepard was probably dreaming about what had happened on the Citadel and if she could probably enter her dream through joining with her and she figure out what was wrong with her. Then, she could help Shepard with whatever it was that was troubling her.

It was a special taboo for an Asari to meld with an unwilling being; it was something which was spoken of in the same breath as the Ardat-Yakshi in Asari culture. However, Liara had broken many major intergalactic laws since becoming the Shadow Broker, and this was for the good of the person who meant more to her than anyone else in the entire so she decided that it was worth the risk.

She took a deep breath and her eyes turned pitch black and she delved into Shepard's mind. Despite the fact that they had not Joined since Shepard had woken up she knew her way around Shepard's mind fairly well. However, there seemed to be more blocks in her mind than usual and this worried Liara even more because it made her scared about what Shepard was hiding in the recesses of her mind.

But, she was more worried about what Shepard might do to herself of others if she could not figure out what was wrong with her. And with that thought she pushed through the barriers that were in Shepard's mind and finally found the memories from the Citadel and they were in fact what had been troubling Shepard for all of these months. However, in that moment Liara wished that she had never probed Shepard's mind.

All of the pain both physical and mental washed over her in an instant. Liara could feel Shepard's burnt skin and broken bones from Harbinger's attack on earth, the pain of watching Anderson die on the Citadel hit her. But, neither of these two memories compared to the pain that had come from the decision that Shepard was forced to make by the Catalyst, a decision that no being should be forced to make.

It was this decision that haunted her more than anything else in her life; and this was the thing that had been eating away at her ever since she had woken up. Shepard had never told Liara, or mentioned in any of her interviews, that she had been forced to make a choice. However, it was not even her decision that weighed on her so much as her reasons for making the decision.

Shepard had realized, after talking to the Catalyst, that the Reapers were not as evil as they had all first imagined. In the moment that she had made her decision she did not consider the Reapers to be evil incarnate. No, the reason that she had chosen to destroy the Reapers was because it was the only option that had not required her to die in the process.

Shepard had not been sure whether or not the other choices would have worked at all and she did not trust the Illusive Man or the Catalyst.  However, she felt like she had condemned the galaxy and millions of beings to death because she was afraid to die. Shepard felt like in the moment of truth she had failed the Galaxy.

Before Liara could even finish processing all of the memories she felt Shepard in her mind, so she quickly pulled out even though she realized that she had already been caught.

"Hey Liara, do you know why I joined the Alliance navy in the first place."

Liara was a little bit confused; she was sure that Shepard must know that Liara had melded with her without her permission. But, she decided to play along with Shepard, "No, you never told me why you did, love."

She took a deep breath and said "Well when I was sixteen the colony that I was living on was attacked by slavers. My parents were killed but somehow they managed to hide me and my best friends and we were saved a couple of days later by a passing Alliance ship.

My parents sacrificed their lives in order to protect me, without even thinking about it. This touched me on a fundamental level; my bad were not always the greatest parents in the world.  But, I had a good life and I had known my parents loved me but they were tortured by slavers before they were killed because they would not help the slavers find the bunkers that the rest of us were hiding in. So, in their spirit I decided to enlist in the Alliance in order to honor their memory, and to do some good to repay those who had helped me."

"You did Shepard; you have done more good than anyone else in the galaxy. I don't even want to think about how the galaxy would be different if you had died in that attack.  You have done more good for the galaxy in the past few years, and anyone else in history.  You stopped a cycle that had been going on for millions of years."

Shepard weakly smiled and said, "Yes, but I wonder if the galaxy would be a better place if I had never joined the military."

"Why do you say that," asked Liara.

Shepard looked at her, her eyes piercing Liara's soul, "Liara don't play dumb with me, we have joined enough for me to recognize the feelings that go along with it."

"I am sorry," said Liara, meekly.

"It is fine at least now you know why I have been acting the way I have," said Shepard. "I am a coward. I was never afraid to die or sacrifice myself for others for the first twelve years of my career, because I figured that I was living on borrowed time anyways. I saw the galaxy in black and white, and I would never sacrifice anyone for the greater good because I viewed that as an evil act; some people called me a foolish paragon for my believes. They told me the galaxy did not work in terms of black and white but I never paid them any mind."

As she was talking she started to cry again, but she just pushed on talking. "However, when I was finally forced to make the ultimate decision like my parents had to all of those years ago I failed my principles and everything that I had stood for just so I could survive. I choose to sacrifice the Geth and EDI, and cause great damage throughout the galaxy just because I was afraid to die.

They would all still be alive if I had not been such a coward. But, when I was faced with the thought of dying and never seeing you again I abandoned my principles. I am worse than the Illusive Man; at least he had his principles and stuck to them. In the biggest moment in galactic history I let my hatred and fear rule my actions."

Liara completely understood now, for the first time in her life Shepard felt like she had made the wrong decision. She felt that because she had chosen to live while sacrificing others that she had made a horrible decision no matter what the outcome was in the end.

Liara grabbed Shepard by the shoulders, stared into her eyes and said, "No matter what you might think you are a hero Shepard. You cannot second guess yourself after the fact, you made the right decision Shepard; the Reapers needed to die. In that situation anyone would have made the same decision, besides you have sacrificed and done more good for this galaxy than anyone else.

You need to cut yourself a break and give yourself a chance to live life. You have long ago achieved you goal of paying back those who helped you by helping others. Plus I am glad that you made the decision that you did because without you I don't know what I would have done without you."

Then, she kissed Shepard on the lips. She could feel Shepard sigh, and she knew that Shepard would always have that baggage to carry around with her. But, when Liara broke off the kiss and looked at Shepard she could tell that her about that experience had made the pain a bit more manageable and had done more for Shepard than anything else since she had woken up.

Liara knew that Shepard still had a long road ahead of her but at least this had returned their relationship to the status quo. Only time would tell whether or not Shepard would ever truly return to the way she was before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know yet another "boring" background chapter, and this was a longer one. I hoped that you liked it, and this will be the deepest I will be delving into this particular topic.  
> The good news is that there is only one more chapter until the start of the real action; and that is almost completely written and should be out on schedule a week from today.


	4. Cat-6

After Shepard had revealed what had happened on the Citadel to Liara she had a renewed spirit and seemed to be coping with the events of the war better. She had thrown herself back into her therapy sessions with a renewed vigor, which reminded Liara of the women she had fallen in love with all of those years ago. She was also sleeping better now, and her mood swings were no were near as bad. She had also been able to move out of the hospital completely, and was staying in a small apartment with Liara near Alliance HQ in Vancouver.

After about three weeks Shepard was on well on track for a full recovery. But, her implants had greatly sped up the healing process, as the doctors told her if not for them even if she had survived the explosion she never would have been the same again. Now they expected her to make a full recovery within six months. But, she was not there yet she still had some of the really burns which still had not healed, and she still had to wear several soft casts to support her newly mended bones.

On this particularly cold winter day in Vancouver Liara and Shepard were getting ready to head off to a bar that was typically frequented by Alliance officials in order to talk with Admiral Hackett, who wanted to talk to Shepard about her reinstatement, though currently they were still in the apartment because Liara was in the bathroom as she did not feel well.

"Liara, are you sure that you are okay, you have not been doing well for a while now. This is about the third time that you have thrown up today, you are not eating, and the slightest smells are making you feel sick. If you want you can stay home, I am sure I can handle this by myself."

Just then Liara came out of the bathroom straightening out her clothes and said, "No, I am fine Shepard it must have been something I ate because I do not feel bad at all."

Shepard looked at her skeptically but said, "If you are sure that you are all right, I am not going to argue with you. You know your body better than anyone else. Are you ready to head off to meet with Admiral Hackett?"

Liara nodded, and they both headed out the door to the street. While Shepard was particularly excited about this meeting Liara was not, she could not get over the fact that they were meeting only with Admiral Hackett who was not on the board and were meeting in public. No, Liara had a very bad feeling about this meeting; and more importantly she was worried about what would happen to Shepard's recovery if she was discharged from the Alliance. The Alliance had been her whole life since she was 18 years old. If did not have the Alliance she might completely spiral out of control even worse than she had before.

When they reached the bar light and fluffy snow started to fall on the dark streets of Vancouver. Shepard opened the door to the bar, and the warmth and light hit Liara as they stepped through. As soon as they stepped into the room they were surrounded by Alliance Officers of all ages, from new recruits fresh from the academy all the way up to old and grizzled veterans of the First Contact War.

However, one young female officer caught Shepard's attention; she pushed to the front of the group and said, "Commander, Commander Shepard can I please get your autograph?"

Shepard smiled and said, "Sure, I guess, what's your name?"

"My name is Emily Jones I am sure that you don't remember but…"

"Sure I do you were the little girl on Bekenstein. My you sure have grown since the last time I saw you, you enlisted in the Alliance I see."

"Yes," the young officer said proudly as Shepard handed her back the napkin. "After you saved me from that slave ring I vowed to grow up and help others the way that you helped me. I figured that I owed you that much, after you gave me a second chance."

Shepard looked at her, and Liara could tell that she was thinking about what she had told Liara the other day about her reasons for joining the Alliance all of those years ago. Then, she looked the girl straight in the eyes and said in a serious tone, "You owe me nothing, I was merely doing my job. I want you to live your life how you want to, that is the greatest thing that you can do for me."

The girl looked confused for a second as she was considering what Shepard had just said. Then, she saluted and said, "Yes, ma'am."

Just as she said this every else pushed her out of the way and started to crowd around Shepard until Admiral Hackett walked up and said, "Okay everyone the Commander is here for business please leave her alone until she is done. Shepard, I have a table in the private lounge if you will follow me"

Liara had meet the Admiral several before once, and had talked to him on several occasions but she was still impressed by the way the old veteran carried him. Despite everything he carried him with the grace and power of one of the elder matriarchs on Thessia. In fact, it was she felt the same way she did when she was young and saw her mother talking to other officials.

Shepard instantly snapped to attention, and said, "I would be honored sir; do you mind if Liara joins us?"

Admiral Hackett looked at Liara, then back to Shepard and said, "Of course, Dr. T'Soni is more than welcome to join us. Do either of you want a drink.

Shepard nodded, and said, "I will have a pint of ale, Liara do you want anything?"

"No, I am fine," said the Asari.

Admiral Hackett signaled for a waiter, placed there orders, and then turned back to the couple and said, "Okay, if the two of you will follow me we can get started."

The couple followed Admiral Hackett through the maze of officers who were in the bar, Shepard receiving many handshakes and praise from the assembled officers. And much to her surprise many of the officers thanked Liara for all she had done during the Invasion. The Admiral led then through a room in the back of the room, and pointed to a table.

Shepard and Liara moved over to the table and sat down next to each other while Admiral Hackett sat down across from them. As they were sitting the waiter came up to the table and set down Shepard's and Hackett's drinks. As Admiral Hackett took a sip he said, "You look amazing Shepard, it is hard to believe that a few short weeks ago you were barely hanging onto life."

"Yeah, say what you will about Cerberus but they sure did a good job putting me back together," said Shepard as she took a drink of her ale. "I heard an interesting rumor that you were appointed to replace Councilor Udina on the Citadel Council, congratulations sir. Is this true sir?"

Liara could have sworn that she saw the old veteran roll his eyes. Then he sighed and said, "To tell you the truth Shepard I am not sure that I am going to take the job. I am not a politician; I would rather face down the Reapers all over again then have to sit through those meetings."

Shepard and Liara looked at each other and smiled, they were both thinking the same thing but it was Shepard who spoke up and said, "I think Anderson said the same thing to me when I first suggested him for the position. But, we need people like you Admiral, you were the one who led the fight against the Reapers, you are a born leader and I do not think that they could have picked a better person for the job."

"I am not sure that it is not a form of punishment against me; because from what Anderson told me they are the worse form of torture imaginable."

Shepard just smiled again and said, "Please Admiral Hackett does this for me, consider it the repayment of the favor that you owe me for saving Earth."

The Admiral looked at her with sad eyes and said, "There is nothing that the human race could ever do to pay you back for what you did for us, but if it will make you happy I will take the job."

As he took another sip of his drink he said, "Shepard, let's get onto the matter at hand, you know that I called you here to talk about your reinstatement."

Liara looked over at Shepard, and she could see that Shepard did not look as confident now as she had a couple of minutes ago. However, she just nodded and said, "Yes, sir, do you have any news on my reinstatement."

For the first time ever, Liara say shame and regret in the Admiral's eyes as he said, "Yes, Shepard, but I am afraid that it is not good news. The board, after listening to the testimony of your doctors, especially the military psychologist, and reviewing your military records has decided that given your current mental state and past actions to postpone their decision for six months and suggest that you continue to seek treatment during that time."

It was just as bad as Liara had feared coming into this, this news was the worst thing that could happen to Shepard right now. She looked over at Shepard expecting her to say something but she didn't say anything and Hackett continued, "Don't give up Shepard I am going to make sure that they reinstate you. I have never met a more qualified soldier, or a greater hero in all of my time in the Alliance. Some of us know all that you have sacrificed over the years to keep us safe."

For a few excruciating seconds Shepard just state there, then she stood up, saluted, and said, "Thank you Admiral I am grateful for all of your help, and I will make sure that I redouble my efforts."

But, before Liara or Admiral Hackett could say anything Shepard turned on her heels and walked out of the room; Liara quickly got up out of her chair and said, "I am sorry Admiral, we have another appointment tonight."

The old Admiral looked at her, and Liara could tell that he could see through her poor lie. But, he just looked at her and said, "I have been where she is right now, I know that it is the toughest challenge that she has probably ever faced in her life. She needs you now Liara more than ever, please take care of her the galaxy needs someone like her now more than ever. Please just take care of her."

Liara could hear the sadness and pain in his words. She knew the Admiral viewed her like his own daughter, and that it had truly hurt him to have to break this news to here. But, Liara also knew that it was a good thing that it came from him, and that it needed to be done. But, this did nothing to quell her anger at the Alliance for tossing away the greatest hero, in her hour of need.

She knew it was not the Admiral's fault but she didn't have time to worry about this now she had to find Shepard. So, she ran back to the front of the bar and quickly scanned the room looking for Shepard but she could not find her. Then, the girl from before came up to her and said, "If you are looking for the Commander she just ran out the front door in a hurry. If you…"

Liara didn't even wait for the girl to finish her thought, she knew it was rude but she had to find Shepard. When she got outside, she looked down the street both ways but she didn't see Shepard. But, she did see new foot prints leading away from the bar in the fresh snow so she decided to follow them and hope for the best. She followed the footprints down the street a little ways then even before they turned down a side alley she knew that they were Shepard's because she could hear her crying.

She stopped, and turned down the alley and saw Shepard sitting there in the snow. She walked over to Shepard, sat down next to her and said, "Shepard, it is going to be alright. We will keep working on it, and you will be ready in six months' time."

Shepard looked up at her with blue blurry eyes and said, "Liara I don't know what I am going to do with myself without the Alliance. It was the only thing in my life that I was ever good at. Plus I have spent the past twelve years going from one mission to another, especially these past four years battling the Reapers. But, now I am useless with way too much time on my hands, if I can't go back to the Alliance I have nothing left in my life." Liara knew she was just hurting but that statement really hurt her.

"It will be okay love."

"Maybe they are right Liara maybe I am not longer fit for duty. If I really think about it, I am not even sure that I can stay on earth anymore; there are too many painful memories here. And I think it will be the same way in the Alliance, I have had a long career in the Alliance and I have lost a lot of good friends." She paused then slowly said, "Maybe it is time for me to retire."

Liara was shocked to hear her say this; Liara had always assumed that Shepard would go back to the Alliance whether or not it was the best thing for her. "Well when my mother died she left me our family estate on Thessia, if you want we can move there."

Shepard looked at her, and said, "That might be nice, at least then I would be away from all of the memories her. But, I can't just sit around being a burden, I am going to have to find something to do; if it is not the Alliance it is going to have to be something else."

Liara smiled, she knew that she was right, as much as she might want to Shepard was not the person to just go into retirement and spend the next fifty years just sitting around a big estate on Thessia. Shepard had to be out their helping people and saving the day, it was just the type of person that she is; and despite, or maybe because of , this difference Liara still loved her.

"If it is not the Alliance, the Council will take you back. I am sure that they will let you work on missions on your schedule. That way you can retire but still do some things to help out and keep active. And if they will not take you back I am sure a certain Shadow Broker could always use your help; you and I could go out there and save the galaxy by ourselves just like the good old days."

Shepard smiled and said, "Great, then it is a date."

Liara stood up, offered Shepard her hand and said, "Ok, in the morning I will make the plans for us to get back to Thessia, and you can tell Admiral Hackett that you are going to retire. Now, let's go back to the apartment it is freezing out here. I do not know how you humans live in weather like this."

"I know how we can warm up," Shepard said coyly as you got to her feet. Then, she put her hand around Laira's waist and kissed her.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone, I hoped that you enjoyed the prologue of my first fanfiction story.
> 
> I plan to update the story every week, and I will try to stick to releasing them every Sunday. I know what you are thinking, it is what I always think when authors say something like this, yeah right he is not going to release every week. But, I am going to try to keep to that schedule, unless I mention otherwise the week beforehand. Unfortunately I have to write a couple of more background chapters to introduce all of the plot elements; but the good news is but I already have a rough outline about what I want to accomplish with these, and the updates will be more frequent until I get into the main part of the story.
> 
> I am new to this so your comments would be appreciated.


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